Persuasion
by galaxysong9
Summary: Tezuka really wishes he could stop getting drawn into These Kinds of Situations. Timed writing exercise.


Time: 49 minutesCharacter/Theme: Inui, tattoo/piercing (bad job with this theme)Disclaimer: Prince of Tennis/Tenisu no Ohjisama is property of Takeshi Konomi. Don't read the badly translated American Shonen Jump version.  
Warning: Stupid American Complex. Any yaoi is totally not meant, but with these four together, subtext is pretty much unavoidable. It's an accident, I swear.

Tezuka wondered for the umpteenth time how he managed to get into these situations. Somewhere along the line, after Atobe had ceased to be 'evil hell-demon who ruined my life' and more of a 'guy with over-inflated ego and fan club who can still be kinda fun to hang out with', the Seigakuans and Hyouteites became quite good friends. It was because of this he was at the mall with Fuji, Oshitari, and Atobe.

_Really, why the mall?_ he wondered. _Isn't that where teenage girls spend time giggling and gossiping and sneaking into Victoria's Secret to pretend to buy thongs? Why on earth do these... people_ (Tezuka was not quite sure whether or not to call them friends, not when they did things like this) _want to spend their time here?_

He wasn't even sure why he had agreed to join them – it probably had something to do with the fact that no one ever, ever disobeyed Atobe. If he had been asked to join in a stage version of the Rocky Horror Picture Show, he probably would've agreed. Especially if Kabaji were standing there, looking as though he would break his kneecaps if Tezuka didn't agree.

Actually, for all of Tezuka's senses screaming disapproval, he didn't really not enjoy himself. His companions were all (for the most part) sensible people who could hold a normal conversation for moderate amounts of time without becoming distracted, flustered, or hiding behind an inferiority complex, which is what people tended to do when speaking with him. However, they also gave off the distinct impression that they were laughing at him.

This was probably why he ended up in this place, with these people, although he comforted himself with the idea that, in a different universe, he had gone on a homicidal massacre and gouged Fuji's eyes out with an ice-cream scoop.

And replaced them with Cadbury eggs.

Perhaps he should stop entertaining these lines of thought.

It was after the four had stopped by all the general stores teenage boys are supposed to stop by (Foot Locker, Spencers, that store with swords and sports team hats) and eaten something slightly palatable at the food court (Atobe had complained that they had misprepared his sushi, whereas Tezuka had been watching carefully and knew that Fuji had surreptitiously added most of his own wasabi to it), before Fuji and Oshitari suddenly... disappeared. Atobe, having learned enough of everyone's personality, was also sufficiently worried.

"Should we find them?"

"Absolutely not." It could afford us some peace and quiet. Not that he really had anything he could be doing with Atobe, but with Oshitari and Fuji around, he had (at some point) been dragged into Claire's, where he ad libbed a story about his girlfriend wanting a new hairclip as the tensai smeared body glitter on each other.

He was dreading the day he was dragged into Hot Topic.

In fact, he was hoping he could spend some time in the bookstore, because his English dictionary was in shreds, and he wanted to see if they had released the next tankouban of Battle Royale. Which he was buying for a friend.

Unfortunately, it was not to be, as the resident geniuses reappeared, and promptly attached themselves to their captains' arms, dragging them off to wherever their crazed fantasies thought it necessary.

Tezuka almost died when he saw it was Piercing Pagoda.

"I absolutely refuse," Atobe said, and put his (metaphorical) foot down. "Ore-sama does not want any foreign objects to protrude through any parts of ore-sama's person."

Tezuka nodded. He couldn't put it in so many words, but the point remained the same.

Oshitari and Fuji looked at each other, and both Tezuka and Atobe felt a wave a fear run through them as the other two communicated in some unknown tensai language.

"Hey, dears, are you lookin' at somethin' in particular?" The woman who seemed to be in charge of the kiosk had took notice and wandered over. "We got a special – anotha free set of earrings if ya get pierced."

Tezuka opened his mouth to refuse and, hopefully, run away, but Fuji (he would murder the boy someday) answered first. "I thought it would be fun to do something as a team – you know, to show solidarity! We don't harbour any rivalry between schools anymore" Oshitari nodded sagely "and it would be so much fun to have something we share, you know, a _bond_."

"Ore-sama does not-"

"But I think you would look fabulous, Atobe! Think, with your hair, a small silver hoop would also offset your eyes." Oshitari could ooze with the best of them. Atobe was dreadfully receptive to comments about his eyes.

"Under no circumstances." _And I don't care what the hell would offset my eyes or complexion or whatever the hell they talk about in those popular magazines now..._

"But Tezuka! If you don't like the way it looks, you can just take it out and never wear it again!" Fuji had opened his eyes and looked at Tezuka in such a way that Tezuka felt his soul was being bored through and through. It was a terrible feeling. "And think! A little gold hoop would make you look powerful yet slightly rebellious, just like when we were first years!"

"You, with the Lennon-glasses, what earrings ya want?" Oshitari, hoping he had sufficiently convinced Atobe, was looking intently at the little display of jewellry.

"Hmm, I think... these bluish ones." He pointed at a tiny pair of studs, and the woman behind the counter nodded approvingly.

"No matter what you wear, they'll look great with your face. Now if you'll just sign this... How old are you?"

"19." Both Atobe and Tezuka looked slightly confused and resentful, but Oshitari stepped on his captain's foot, and Atobe looked affronted enough that Tezuka kept quiet as well.

"Okay then, just sit down here, won't hurt a bit, you just want one ear, right?" They went through the incredibly complex process of piercing Oshitari's ear, and, in about three minutes, he had a little blue stone winking from his bright red ear. "Who next?"

Atobe shoved Tezuka forward. "I'll only do it if he does."

"Never mind them for now, how about these?" Fuji pointed at a generic pair of studs that looked dangerous from either side, and soon had his own little fashion statement. "Saa, Tezuka, it's not bad at all. It certainly can't be worse than surgery."

"That was below the belt."

"I wasn't didn't say anything about anything at all, Atobe."

"That really doesn't make too much sense."

"Never mind, Tezuka, you're up."

"I don't want to."

"I think it'll look quite charmin', hon. Like the one boy said, you can always let it heal if you don' like the way it looks."

"Don't you want to feel the teensiest bit rebellious, Tezuka? Like that cocky, impertinent child you were two years ago?"

"That would make me unpleasantly like Echizen."

"There's nothing unpleasant about ochibi!"

"Fuji, this should end the conversation. I-"

"Think you would look lovely with those gold hoops in the fourth row, don't you, Atobe?" Oshitari motioned at some tasteful earrings that weren't flashy or gaudy at all but in fact kind of cute and definitely not what Tezuka pictured when he imagined himself getting his ears pierced.

Next thing he knew, he was being seated in The Chair with the heavyset woman towering above him with the Gun, adorable little earring in place, pointed viciously at Tezuka's ear. _They said it wasn't painful at all._

"You bloody--!" They lied.

Fuji had the good graces to look suitably undisturbed, but no amount of natural grace or charisma could conceal the fact that Atobe was currently laughing himself sick at Tezuka. "Hn, Atobe, do you remember what you said?"

Well, that stopped him. A bit. However, having a more realistic viewpoint, he was able to accept it without swearing at everyone in the general vicinity.

It wasn't very expensive, because Tezuka didn't know what he would have done if it were. Why a girl would willingly put themselves through this, he had no idea, let along things like one's nose or bellybutton or...

The owner gave them the general spiel about Caring for Your New Earrings, and they eventually set out on their way again, albeit with stinging ears.

"I am never going anywhere with any of you ever again." This is what Tezuka would have said, if they hadn't dragged him off to some other realm of the vast, vast shopping mall.

EPILOGUE

"Tezuka. You look irritated." Inui made a skilful observation. He had stayed behind to recalculate probabilities (and gather information on a certain opponent, but that is neither here nor there).

"Hn."

"The four of you were gone for quite some time."

"Were we." Tezuka had arranged his hair in such a way that it mostly covered his ear.

"The others returned a while earlier. Where were you?"

"Hn." Tezuka turned to walk away, unwilling to participate in Inui's discussion. Of course, he neglected to account for his hair being blown about by this.

"...Did you get your ears pierced?"

((A story in which I regretfully must make end notes. I did a Stupid American Thing and used all sorts of things that would never have a place in a real, serious fic. But it was so much fun I just let myself get carried away. So: you buy shoes at Foot Locker; pranks, risqué things, sex toys, and other Things of That Nature at Spencers (it's actually a really funny place); girly things like hairclips, cheap makeup, and OMG BOYZ things at Claire's; goth, punk, and band things at Hot Topic; and Piercing Pagoda for, uh, piercings and etc. Battle Royale is a manga that is so violent and pornographic that it's for 18+ and plastic wrapped. And it totally deserves being that way. There is no plural of the word tensai, so that's why it's the two tensai, not tensais. I think I've covered everything, so, er, sorry for making this a stupid and improbable plotline. That was wicked fun to write.))

galaxysong9


End file.
